Snatched from the news: The oldest fossilized shrimp in the world was recently discovered -- not in a coastal area, but in landlocked Oklahoma. Geologists have been studying the ancient morsel, which was preserved in stone is as much as 360 million years old and was found in Oklahoma in remarkably good condition -- even the muscles of the fossil are preserved.

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Gee, I hope these geologists get this ancient morsel to a museum in a hurry before Red Lobster or other restauranst gets a hold of it and sell it ala scampi.

As I said previously in a blog, I never was interested in taking a cruise. At that time, I said I couldn’t imagine being cooped up on a ship with 4,000 other folks and a giant herd of screaming kids. Then came the reports of cruisers getting sick on board from Legionnaire’s disease and other highly contagious illnesses and that was enough for me.

Now we have a giant cruise ship with 4,400 people onboard with no engine, no food, few restrooms and no hot water. They’ve been adrift now for several days and eating what food the Navy has been sending them, mainly canned crabmeat and spam. Personally, I like spam, but that seems a bit low on the list when compared to the usual high-class cuisine these ships offer.

I just had a neighbor tell me she was going on a cruise next month and my advice to her was “Pack several lunches, take plenty of antibiotics with you, anti-bacterial soap, plus earplugs for when you leave your cabin, and lots of deodorant for yourself and close friends.”

Things seem to be getting pretty rustic on these monolithic fancy cruise ships, so if you are going on a cruise, be prepared.

What is it with tattoos? I went to the gym this morning and once more many of the gang there were sporting tattoos, and I couldn’t help but wonder why. One guy had so many visible tats he’d need to grow another arm or leg before he could add to his collection. Even the girls, trainers and others, plus the elderly ladies all sported them. None of them, as far as I could tell, had tats that added anything to their attractiveness (whatever that may be, of course it’s a matter of degrees).

Are they trying to make some sort of “statement”? Just what would that statement be? I guess that would depend on the viewer of these idiotic designs or abbreviated memos that had stuck to their skin. As for me, they were telling me that the tat-carrier was one-step below stupid.

I remember many years ago when I was in Navy boot camp, half the company on their first liberty in San Diego came back with at least one tattoo. I didn’t mainly because I couldn’t decide what I wanted stitched on my arm. I thought about one for my forehead, which would read “This End Up,” but decided against it. Some of these guys ended up in sickbay with infections back then and later they were put on report for defacing government property. A reasonable charge in my view since we sold our butts to the government for at least four years anyway.

But ever since then I stayed away from tattoo parlors. (I did let my guard down once, I had my ear pierced for an earring, but it got infected so I let it close up. The scar is still there of course, but hardly noticeable. That‘s as wild as I ever got.)

The older folks usually have a somewhat faded tat that says something like “Mother.” Ah, that’s true love, huh? Most mothers would chew their offspring out for doing something like that. Then again, have you ever seen a tat on a guy that said, “I hate Mom”?

The worst tat of course is the idiot that has his girlfriend’s name on his arm surrounded by hearts and flowers, only to find out later she’s also on someone else’s arm. Then what? Tattoos don’t come off easily even with a laser zapper. And what about the girl’s tat on her lower, lower, backside of a butterfly or a little rose. What’s that all about? What does it mean?

The only tattoo I ever heard tell of that I rather liked was one that actor Lee Marvin had on his ankle. It said simply “Heaven’s above.” Now that was funny and I suppose, meaningful to the women in his life.

So will I ever prove my double-digit I.Q. by getting a tat? No, I can’t foresee the need of getting one. Unless maybe I can find a really good tattoo artist who can counterfeit a phony debit card on my butt an ATM machine will accept.

Kimberly-Clark and other toilet paper makers are heralding their new tubeless toilet paper rolls in their effort to “go green.” They say if the cardboard rolls tossed and wasted each year could circle the earth 40 times and it’s time to get rid of them to save such trash.

Hmm. I just wonder about the wisdom of such a move. The first question that comes to my mind is what will happen when you get down to the last quarter inch of paper and you reach for more? Will a big wad of paper just break loose from your T.P. holder and end up in your hand? Then what do you do? It’s too much to use, but it’s un-rollable anymore, so there you sit, trying to pick off the needed amount of bent-up sheets and wondering what to do with the remaining wad.

I like the tubes. there are many uses for them especially for projects the kids make for school projects and such, but I do agree the tube is difficult to flush down the terlit as Archie Bunker used to say. As for me, I always pitched them across the room at the little trash can to see if I could hit it. Usually not.

The question as to how to hang the T.P. on the wall fixture still haunts us. Do you hang it so the end sheet is against the wall or hanging outside from the roll? Dither, dither. I think an expensive government sponsored study should be initiated to find the most socially agreeable way to hang your toilet paper roll (think of your guests!) and one that’s most ecologically sound.

How could manufacturers just on their own make such a decision as to leave out the cardboard tube? To me, that’s a corporate take-over of my private business and I didn’t even get to vote on the issue of tissue. But the worst of it is, the price of twa-lay paper will not go down when the tube is removed. I just know that’s a fact. Remember when gasoline companies left the lead out of gas? Did the price go down then? Heck no. So be prepared to pay more for less when your tube-less toilet paper comes to your store.

Unless of course, you happen to be one of those who just doesn’t give a poop.